s$ .d""b. impulse reality press no. 138 [-- $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------------------ --] $$ $$ "Punk Me" $$ $$ written by AndyA $$ $$ released: 9/7/01 [-- $$ $$ ------ ------------------------------------------------------ --] $$ $$ I sit in a lonely booth at Country Kitchen, the waitress knows me so well she walks over automatically with my beverage of choice and sets the bill on the table. I smile back at her, she glances at me quick and says she likes my new look. Its that look I have that brought me here to nite. I smile back as she walks off the the back table to sit and have some coffee with the cook. He looks up quick and stares down the benches and looks at me quick to see what 'I'm all about' he mumbles loudly to the waitress or to himself. I dig into my little back pack and take out a small note book. Its full of stories I've written here before and other thoughts and numbers and passwords. My life story, in easy to read mini form. Nothing but phone numbers for people I've never met, passwords for services and accounts I have no legit reason to be on, numbers for other things to, Little poems and stories, a few haiku poems, that sorta crap. I take out my pen and try to think of something to write but my mind is still moving to fast, filled with thoughts flying to fast for me to try to organize. I sit just act like there something important in there so I don't have to stare at walls waiting for my friends to show up. They should be there soon. We agreed that to nite we'd all get together since no one had college or work or in my case I had a way into town that nite. I sit and wait for them to show up. I see a car pull into the lot. Its my friend Kim's car. The passenger door slowly opens and I see my other friend Matt get out. They both stare into the windows looking for my familiar face, I lean back so I can't be seen from the window. They come in and look at the table in the corner for me. Kim sees me first and blinks twice as though he can't belive what he is seeing. Then at almost the same time Matt sees me. He is pretty reserved in his actions so he just smiles a bit and walks on over, Kim follows in his wake. They make there way over to me and on the way the waitress intercepts them, both place orders for some frys and coffee, the only two things in the restaurant that the cook can't really fuck up. They continue on their way and sit down across from me in the booth in the corner. I sit and talk to my friends, making the light conversation that people almost always do when meeting. How was the drive? Where you waiting long? How are the roads? Is town crowded etc? All over the world no matter where you live in what size town or city or mode of transportation Everyone will say the same things. Must be genetic. I sit and pour myself another glass of soda to waste some time. I can feel the staring at my hands, see them reshaping there thoughts about me. I set it back down and still they stare. Soon though they think they have looked to long, they quickly look away with a look of puzzlement on there faces or in one cases fright of what I may become. Kim makes a joking reference about me now being one of the posers I so hate. We all smile a bit at it even though it wasn't even funny. Then the waitress comes over to the table for first time she barely glances at me this time. She sets the coffee down and walks away. She knows that we tip well and always pay the bill. Long as we do that, we could all have a third head up our asses, she wouldn't care. Matt starts to talk to me about my new style and try's to understand why I did this. 'Is it like for that concert your going to?' he ask with a smile? 'No I tell him, I'm doing this cause its what I feel like doing right now.' 'Why did you do this are you trying to be goth or something?' 'No I'm trying to be me,' He actually is starting to get it and ask some more relevant questions. 'Why are you doing this? Did something influence it?' I tell him why I am doing it. 'I am doing this to express myself, I may have had my views changed by influences but no I'm not doing this cause i saw it on TV and liked it. I'm doing this because this is how I feel when I look inside myself.' I look at him, he is almost the total opposite of how I look now. He is dressed in your average look, nothing preppy or anything. Wearing a cap and jeans with a Nike T-shirt. This is how he always looks. Some people couldn't deal with anything this alien to how they look and perceive themselves but I think he can. He smiles and says, 'Hey its I might not get it but you know what I can deal with it.' I smile back at him. He is a true friend. He doesn't care I have thrown my old Khakis to the back of the closet, or that I have taken all my almost trendy shirts I used to wear to try to 'fit in' with. Or that I have decided that i want to shave my head into a new style Mohawk. Or that I now paint my nails black or dyed my hair blue. He knows I'll still be there for him whens he's puking up the cheap kegger beer or when his girl jilts him. Kim though looks at me a bit longer. He had been listening to all of the questions that Matt had asked. He looks at me very seriously and ask, 'Jason, I have a SERIOUS question for you.' 'Yeah?' 'You better be honest and play it straight with me.' 'Sure man' Now I am a bit nevouse, 'what is it?' 'Do you still like Black Sabbath?' 'Fucking of course I do you fucking retard!' 'Well you haven't changed that much then dip shit.' I smile, its all good. Just then the frys come. Its all good and right before i give the roof of my mouth third degree burns I think that now I have gotten country kitchen to accpect me. Now i just have to work on the rest of the world. Written by AndyA: Reproduce only in Holy places. 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